“Don’t make the joke,” I tell myself. “People are going to take it the wrong way.”
Unfortunately for the tiny sliver of brain I devote to common sense, once a thought makes me giggle, it’s only a matter of time before I act on it. Or, make the joke out loud (or in text to a friend, and so on). Even when I know better.
So, there I was minding my own business, allowing my mind to wander through words that I thought might inspire horror ideas. And from “paranormal” I jump to “parasocial” and then to “parasite.”
Heh. Parasocial parasite. What would that look like?
“Hello, everyone! Tonya the Tapeworm here to teach you more about raw diets #NaturalLiving!”
“Amoebazinga, amoeba-heads! Welcome to today’s freshwater stream, where I have an earworm for you that’s sure to get stuck in your brain!”
But then I get more literal about the parasocial part. After all, there needs to be a one-sided relationship between the unseen audience and our parasitical protagonist for it to really count. Why would the parasite need fans if they already have a host that they are consuming?
That’s more viral territory, since the virus lives to replicate itself, and endlessly needs more hosts to spread through.
Ha. Now I’m entertaining myself with the idea of a parasocial parasite going viral. Imagine the clickbait videos:
“Surviving 10 Days in Fluffy’s Intestinal Tract Challenge!”
“Bedbug Reviews Luggage – Amazing Travel Deals with My Promo Code!”
But that’s internet virality—what about actual diseases? If you try to look up parasite diseases, you’ll likely find info about different diseases that parasites cause. That’s not what I’m looking for at all! I want to know what diseases they get, who parasites the parasitesmen!
On that note, can a parasite get a parasite? Turns out, the answer is yes, and said parasite-eating-parasites are called hyperparasites, or metaparasites!
Metaparasites circles all the way back to the Facebook-Instagram family of apps designed to control your brain (like toxoplasmosis? or social parasitism?), bringing us right back to parasocial where we started!
From letting my mind wander and prompted by a silly wordplay joke, I’ve now generated a ton of topics that are fun to read about for me, and horrific to think about to those around me (whoops. Sorry). This is all great fuel for writing a scary story. And it’s also a great cover for when the FBI shows up at my doorstep regarding my concerning medical-related internet search history.
And it’s totally not a social commentary. Not at all. Not one bit. Just a harmless joke. 😉
